How Pickup Culture Feeds On The Confidence Of A Man

Rezkyro Poltak Samuel Pasaribu
3 min readJun 18, 2022
Photo by Donny Jiang on Unsplash

So let us establish what pickup culture or hookup culture is, it means one that accepts and encourages casual sexual encounters, including one-night stands and other related activities, without necessarily including emotional intimacy, bonding, or a committed relationship.

below is a stock photo I took depicting a man, kind of “seducing” or just hanging out with random girls at a club and some other guy confused “how or why” expression he makes. not the best picture I could find but hey, lets start from that

Pick up Artist by CanStockPhoto

In this modern age, casual sex is quite a normal thing to do. Popular culture encourages teenage men to have one-night stands or “scoring” women. approaching one in a bar or club etc and then take them home with you.

maybe you have seen or watched “American Pie” a really famous movie that actually explores teenage sexuality in a somehow comedic way. the movie is about five teenagers in their senior year, where 4 of the virgins trying to lose their virginity before their graduation. but this is not the only movie which depict “hookup culture” there are many others.

It's fun I guess? when you have casual sex, but then these things become predatory and outright competition for men.

“how many women you have sex with? or “yea man I bang her yesterday” and proceed to show you the picture of the girl, these types of conversations sometimes came up within a group of guys, or how a man would target another woman for him to slept together. He would manipulate woman with these sense of wealth and emotional manipulation, preying on them.

They want to show off that the more women I slept with means I am more manly than you. They want to encourage you to do the same.

Does that mean the less women I slept with, i am a lesser man than you? i thought being a man is being responsible with his actions not determine by the many women he slept with.

These kinds of thought are some of the things majority of man have to deal with, “losing virginty” and “scoring chicks”. Modern culture thought us that. Thus become this socially accepted pressure of being a masculine man.

With socially accepted pressure, cultural effect, even treating it as a competition could give a man the feeling of undesireable which then affected his confidence. That he is unattractive and unable to find a “mating” partner.

Man shouldn’t be worried about hookup culture, we have to determine the goal of being in a relationship. The ideal relationship should bring meaning to your life, brings out the best of each other, having someone to support one another is a blessing that someone could have.



Rezkyro Poltak Samuel Pasaribu

An Indonesian with massive interest in politics, Law, and pop culture.