The Cyclical Hell of Dating App

Photo by Good Faces Agency on Unsplash

Setting Up The Profile

man this part sucks but it's also the most important part.

1. Photo

The first thing you need to have is a really really good picture which then tells you “what kind of person you are”. maybe you like riding horses? well go to a local stable and have a picture with a horse, I mean it's obvious, doesn't it? you wouldn’t put a picture of your profile if you don't really like it.

2. Description

For the love of all that is holy, WRITE SOMETHING PLEASE. I'm a stranger, I wouldn't know anything inside your head if you don't write it. Jesus, out of all the profiles I’ve met around 20% have described themselves or their hobbies or something.

3. Basic Bio

Well uh, this is pretty easy to make, they have several options you could just tap, such as Astrology, Height (ew discriminatory), weight (some of them are fatphobic), or maybe you could state your drinking habits (best way to tell if you are an alcoholic), even political alignment. but it's categorical as in you could tap by the number of options they provide.

4. Welcome To Hell Baby

Now if you filled all of that bio, congrats you have created your internet dating persona!

5. Salvation

Like the almighty gave you an obvious sign, with the song “there she goes, there she goes again” by the Sixpence None The Richer playing (is it playing in your head right now? Nyse), you have finally found the one and decide to delete the app.



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Rezkyro Poltak Samuel Pasaribu

Rezkyro Poltak Samuel Pasaribu


An Indonesian with massive interest in politics, Law, and pop culture.